Based on Ephesians 5:22-33, the best way to understand God’s design for marriage is to recognize the relationship between Christ and His churches. A husband is to be to his wife what Jesus is to each of His churches. Too often people only talk about his living sacrificially. I maintain that a dead savior is of no use to anyone. Yes, Jesus died for us, BUT NOW He LIVES to be our Lord, our head, our protector. His relationship to each of His churches is first and foremost, that of authority. A wife is to be for her husband what each church is to be for Christ Jesus. She is to be completely devoted to him. She is to be invested in his program, not an independent one of her own. She is to be in complete submission to his will and authority. Have we any Biblical record of any NT churches that did not meet this criteria and still received praise from Christ Jesus? I recommend reading about the seven churches of Asia in the Revelation, chapters 2 & 3. The world cannot receive this, nor can they practice it. To do so, they would only have a hollow hull of a pumpkin, with all the meat gone, doomed to disillusionment. Biblical, God designed marriage REQUIRES first, above all else, a love for the Lord and a TOTAL surrender to Him, by each party for Biblical marriage, for it to work. Forget about getting counselling for your spouse UNTIL after you, yourself, are in complete submission to Christ Jesus. When that is achieved, more than half of your problems will be solved and/or dissolved.